23 APRIL 2008
Happy 2 years anniversary!
yeap!finally after so long so many events we've been tgt for 2 years!
went for check up today.got my blood test report.everything was okay expect my red blood cells was abit low.got to eat more red meat.doctor says shyanne is about 1kg now!didn't get to see baby shayenne face today as her face was not faced out..only saw her heartbeat beating.haha
yup.most of my friends and some relatives should have alr know abt my situation now..wasnt prepared to tell anyone abt it but sometimes i jus cant handle stuffs alone especially when this is a lifetime decision and commitment.there is no pt hiding and lying everything, pushing everything down myself keeping quiet..i dun wanna lead a hide and seek life anymore..
My confession
...dear and i will be havin a baby soon :)and yes this is an unplanned pregnancy..have been hearing alot of advices and soughting help from many many many people..and finally our decision was to keep baby and start a family,and of cas we'll be getting solemnized sometime next month..
I have also hurt my parent alot alot..mum's havin a depression over this.though i dont tell them how i feel..i stil cry alot alot everytime i think of them everytime someone mentions abt them..i really know i've hurt them alot alot and nothing can be done now to undo their hurt and tears...i jus pray and hope that their pain will ease as time passes.
it hurts even more to know that you've hurt the one who loves you most,there's only hurt when there's love
our current plans now is
1. to quickly find a hse to stay..preferably dear's parent home..
2.dear to sign on police
there is jus so many things to prepare mentally and financially..it's really a very very tough and unclear road ahead of what's going to happen..jus hav to be mentally prepared for anything and everything..come what may..really hope this baby will be our source of motivation and determination :)
Anyway..will be naming our baby girl Shayenne Choo Shi En..baby will be due in this year mid June..which is abt 2 months time :) glad that she's healthy and everything's okay..shayenne's kicking and punching more often now..hiccups alot too..haha..dear's kinda excited and sometimes too over-concerned abt baby..kept isisting to buy the classical music which has Mozart and Beetoven for baby to listen..but most of the time i would end up asleep from listening..so i don't know whether baby's listening or not..haa..if not he'll always say why my tummy still so small,y baby still so small..other pregnant woman 7 mths stomach so big..lol..and everyday without fail,he'll be asking whether i drink milk alr not,eat vitamins alr not..
shared many many things with dear abt baby..like wat sch we wld want her to go to..wat courses we'll send her for..how will we raise her up etc etc..really wondering what kind of parent dear and i will be next time..how our child will be like in the future...
